The importance of abstinence. (A gamblers perspective)
Why do I choose abstinence with gambling I am not about to tell anyone that the only way to recover is total abstinence, there seems to be many different types of gambler and levels of unmanageability. Personally I don't really care about how long its been since our last bet, in unto itself it does not really represent much. But of course if I can lead a rich, robust and fulfilling life without gambling then time maybe important.
I set up the "no gambling" policy in my life because it offers a clear cut line to attend too. Its mainly based on a very clear understanding on the reasons why I gambled or enjoyed gambling so much, also honest understanding that the gambling that got my brain buzzing and emotions firing was uncontrolled risk/reward that could only lead to unmanageable mayhem. The evidence for this is undeniable. Gambling that was controlled or limited was very uncomfortable for me unless I could get to a place where outcomes were unknown.
This all comes down to my brain, dophamine and adrenaline was a rich cocktail that did something for me In my gambling that regular living could not do. I was the person who always felt like an outsider when in came to feeling highs in life from, acheivement and hard work, spurts of over the top attempts to be "the best" followed by sudden feelings of disinterest, failure and low esteem. I can't really put my finger on it but its a kind of expectation of trying too feel content in life with little effort. When gambling came along it truly felt like this was what I was searching for. So gambling was never going to be about making money, or a regular social activity it is about my brain and the imbalance. So today because the only reason I gambled was about "lack of control" I do not have the resources financially to do that (the more money I have the greater the risks I would have to take to hit the "sweet spot") I also do not have the emotional resources to deal with unmanageability, or to hurt people I love. Thats what gambling does to people like me, it hurts others and hurts us in a pile of shame.
Most of my recovery is based on awareness of myself and scientific explanations that explain my brain. Being a critical thinker and even a skeptic right in the middle of my own thinking has been a mainstay for me. Any attempt by me to have controlled gambling is crazy because its not what I like. It also is taking the clear line of abstinence and turning into a blurry line where decisions are guess work. I am always suspicious of my thought that comes along saying maybe controlled gambling is OK, given what I know about my gambling nature it is never OK. But having said that I still greet my ideas with smile and wave them by. This is a personal journey for me, its not about external forces of good and bad, its not about all being the same. At the end of the day it is up to the individual to take steps to take responsibility, to seek other more manageable ways of living while still being excited about life.