My AAH has been in rehab for 3 weeks this time. He agreed to let me come to family group and I was required to write an impact letter. I wrote it, read it and now I feel weird about the reaction from him. He listened contently and then walked out the group. I couldn't tell if he was mad or if it was a reality check.
he called me yesterday, we had ten minutes. He was extremely concerned about the well being of everyone. asked me how I doing, Which was a first in months.
He told me he was okay during the reading of he letter until I said something about Al-anon, because he said he feel like I'm trying to analyze him through my meeting. I explained to him that my meeting are for my health, sanity, and serenity. not him
I didn't ask him when he was coming home this time because I honestly didn't care. don't get me wrong I love him and miss him but I don't miss his actions and I have settled into a routine. I don't necessarily have any expectations of him when he gets back because I don't want him to not meet them and then they turn into resentments. I don't even know if I want to be with him because I'm scared he will relapse. I want to continue m marriage, I'm just torn between his past actions and giving him another chance, because he is an awesome dad and husband when he is sober.
How do I handle these feelings and try to let the past be just that past.
