Hello LifeRoad, and welcome to our little corner of recovery. You mentioned in another thread that your son was quite ill from his addiction. On top of the ACoA issues you mention, it sounds to me like you have a huge amount of stress in your life. I'm glad you found us and decided to join
Originally Posted by
LifeRoad 
... I think today's reality is the point because you can't fix the past. ....
That is exactly how I feel. The original version of the ACoA serenity prayer addressed that issue and is my favorite.
God, grant me the serenity
to accept the past I cannot change.
The courage to change the future I can
and the wisdom to start today.
Mike