Hi blake.. gosh, I'm not sure what to say. I hear so much in your post, but I'm so glad to see the strength at the end of it. You're going to be just fine. You sound like a real upstanding sort of person, especially in your desire to serve your country. I think you have it right, serve yourself first, heal, then maybe find a way you can be of service to those who are in the military via charity or some other way. There are so many needs that you could find a way to fulfill when you're ready.
You've been through a lot. You will find your path.
Big ole (((hugs)))!