Closure is a gift I give myself, a moving-on from the enmeshment of painful and toxic relationships. My own mother will never know exactly how my upbringing made me feel, the consequences her actions had on my development and future relationships -- even if I somehow FORCED her to sit down and hear those words, there's nothing I can do to make another person listen or understand. For a long time I believed I needed that, that it would somehow erase the pain of my experience. But it is exactly that pain that made me who I am now, and I accept it right along with my genetically pear-shaped figure and my bad eyesight.
I had to let go of the idea that telling someone how I feel is the experience I imagine it will be for the other person, and therefore the experience I imagine it will be for me. The only acknowledgement and validation of my feelings that has any true meaning is the one I give myself.