I think Lillamy is absolutely right, it is about us getting the other to admit and acknowledge that we were right, they were the problem, their drinking was a problem, etc....and that to me says we are still wanting control over the situation.
I think for me it was also a case of lacking confidence and trust in my own emotions/decisions. I somehow wanted him to tell me it was OK to leave him. Crap, I wanted
everyone to agree with me that I did the right thing.
It took me a long time to accept that I really didn't need anyone's permission to choose how I wanted to live my life. And that I didn't need anyone's permission to protect my children.