he needs demonstrated affection and words of encouragement on a regular basis which I was not able to provide.
Oh, the poor sod. *sigh* *rolling my eyes*
I understand the need for closure. I also agree with Florence that you will probably never get closure
from him. When I left AXH,
he was begging
me to meet with him so that he could get closure. "Closure" for him meant he would get to tell me how wrong I was in everything I felt, what an awful wife I had been, and that he would in his great magnanimity be willing to give me the chance to come back and be a
better wife this time around. So I said, FTS. I don't need that.
What I finally decided was that just as I had my view of what had happened, and why our marriage deteriorated, he had
his story. And "closure" for each of us would have meant
getting the other person to acknowledge that they were wrong and I was right. When I realized that he would never come around to seeing things my way any more than I would come around to taking the entire blame for his drinking, his abuse, his appalling behavior towards me and the kids? I also realized that any attempt at getting closure from him was a waste of time and emotional energy.
He won't ever see things from your perspective. You will have to find a way to be satisfied with knowing that
you know what happened,
you know that you did the right thing when you left, and that
he is living his delusion and there isn't a thing in the world you can do to change that.