Thank you all for your responses. They're no longer living with the A, and have no contact.
I do tend to agree with you that it's not a bad thing to be compassionate, helpful, and listen and want to help. I guess what concerns me is that when you have that basic tendency, you're easy prey for "users" -- and I'm not just talking users as in addicts, but users as in people who use people. I've seen that a couple of times -- the boy who was dropped from the school wrestling team dating my daughter until he got his grades up and was allowed back on the team; the row of cute girls using my son as Rebound Boy... etc.
I know it's their lives and that I can't protect them from this. But I think because I have those same tendencies (including the "Normal people judge me") and they've led me into some pretty hellish relationships, I would want to do everything I can to help the kids NOT make those same mistakes, if that makes sense?
Yak, I really liked this:
One way I find overcome "broken" people relationship is to talk to people with common interest, not common experience...