Originally Posted by
carmen220 
Thanks again for allowing me to vent
He and I haven't talked for 2 days. I can't help but wonder if he thinks that I am the one who should be sorry, since I quickly said "I have to go" and then hung up (with him still talking). Of course I did that because he was so hurtful and was indifferent toward my feelings. A part of me wonders, maybe the alcohol has affected his brain so much that he wonders himself why he said it; maybe he's embarrassed or feels bad for having said it.
In the past, he would try to make up for misbehavior, but what he said feels unforgivable to me. How do I get past that? I wonder if most other people would feel that what he said was unforgiveable.
Nothing, to me, is unforgivable; what matters isn't the deed itself, as much as the attitude that follows.
Are you required to forgive him? No. Only you can choose that. But if he is unwilling to change or try to get better, why waste your time? Life is short to waste it on people who destroy you, either intentionally or not.
Forgiveness is also not the same as acceptance. You can forgive him, without accepting it, and while moving on with your life. I forgave my husband's addictions, but I refused to accept them, that's why I asked him to leave when I did. I loved him deeply, but had to protect myself and my children from him.
Thankfully, it was enough of a wakeup call for him that he got his act together. But if I hadn't? I still would have loved him, and forgiven him... he just wouldn't be in my life.