Hello everyone,
I don't post here often. Even though I'm secular friendly, I never bought into RR much and that seems to be the dominate secular discussion here. For those folks that have made a big plan and it's been a life saver for you great. More power to you. I'm not against it, it's just not right for me. Kinda the same reason I don't go to too many step meetings. Most people I meet in recovery are usually very good folks though, regardless of what cup of tea they prefer.
An analogy I found useful came from my kids homework. I have to go on the internet to look up the methods for helping them with their math homework. They don't teach math anything at all like when I was a kid. They do this “everyday” math and they teach them how to solve equations three or four different ways. Three or four different methods, to teach them to do the same thing. Why? The idea behind it is that everyone's brain processes things differently. If they teach just one way it will still work for the majority. Some it will match ideally the way they think, others not so much but they'll adapt. Some will come up with their own way of processing it regardless of what the formal instructions are. Some just won't get it at all. If they teach multiple ways, the idea behind that is more students will learn it, because one of the methods is likely to match the way their brain processes things. Isn't recovery really just a bit of retraining our brain? Why not look at several methods until we find what fits best?
Another thing that I found helpful at least, was the idea of lifestyle balance. For me when I was first in recovery I would get some time in and I'd pick up another activity or hobby to fill the time and everything would just be humming along. Then I'd get bored with the new hobby, soon enough I'd relapse. This time I ran across the idea of lifestyle balance. That is don't replace addiction with some other single focus, be it recovery meetings, exercise program or whatever. Yes in the beginning single focus can be good and maybe even necessary for success. Eventually it's not enough though. If you fill you life with lots of things, I think your chances are better anyway. You are probably a son, daughter, church member, father, wife, baker, employee, swim instructor, student, neurosurgeon, PTO secretary, cub scout leader or whatever else already. Perhaps you have some hobbies too. If not it's a great time to get some or maybe take those viola lessons you always wanted. The idea of lifestyle balance is that if you fill your life and divide your time between several meaningful (to you) activities, when eventually you get bored or move on from one or two, there isn't a big void. You have some wiggle room, so to speak, while you look for the next one or two things to add back into the mix, if your living a balanced life. The idea is that we all continue to grow and learn. You will out grow or move on from many of the things you find fulfilling today. Moving on and finding new stimulating activities is an important and natural thing.
I think regardless of the program or method of recovery a person takes that if you have success in long term recovery a part of it is going to be either re-building your life or building a new life if you never had much of one prior to addiction. The life balance method or something similar to it like a spiritual awakening or renewed sense of purpose in life, I think is probably common to a lot of people in long term recovery. I think it's true whether it is something they did with a conscious effort or not.
Imagine yourself in a successful long term recovery. What does that look like? Assume for a moment you conquer your addiction, it's a thing of the past, that you are now leading a completely satisfying life and that it's five or ten years in the future. What does that look like?
One last thing. If you could only do one thing to improve your physical health, mental health, overall well being and chances of long term recovery, what would it be? For me the answer would be, exercise. A 30 minute walk five times a week, isn't too hard to fit into most peoples schedule. There isn't any empirical evidence I am aware of to support this, but from a personal experience I suspect the exercise answer is pretty true. I'm sure there are some exceptions for post surgery and such, but have you ever gotten off the tread mill or back from a bike ride and regretted doing it? The good thing here, is you don't have to do just one thing. If exercise isn't already in you list of tools though, maybe give it a shot.
Well that's what was on my mind for now.
Take care,
Todd
