Thank you, I appreciate that very kind reply.
I think I am just feeling very shaken. If I'm honest with myself, I wonder if somebody could have reached her. The more I read, the more I realise that nobody really even tried. Well, they did, but in ways that only made matters worse. I wish somebody had found this place, wish they'd known what to expect and how to approach things.
I'm sad because she's only 59 and this isn't what she wanted at all. I am sad because she is a good, kind person who just has demons too big to handle. It seems cruel, that it would end this way. I know they were her choices, but maybe I need time to really appreciate that as all I feel right now is that she was in the grips of something beyond her control.
I have embraced her into my life, but never fully appreciated her. I took her for granted and found her a bit annoying at times. I wish I'd seen then what I see now.