I don't know if there's a technical definition of recovering/recovered. I can see both sides. I know that within some recovery programs the definitions are tight and clear, personally I took a multi-faceted approach and don't subscribe to any one method or theory or practice.
I GET that 'we are always alcoholics', and nothing is fixed in the sense that we could go back to drinking again without issue. It takes a lot of ongoing work and vigilance to maintain our sobriety and recovery-hence 'recovering', it's an ongoing process.
However, I have also heard 'round here the answer to "what are we recovering?", and the answer was "our sobriety", which I think is interesting, and simple. I don't drink anymore, I never will again. My sobriety has been recovered, I recovered from active alcoholism. I have said that I am "recovered". I have recovered from active alcoholism, I am no longer an active alcoholic. That does not mean I will ever drink again, it just means that I achieved long term sobriety, and I'm living my life without that monkey on my back now.
Regardless!! He doesn't have the capacity to understand, he probably never will. My husband is the same. For a while he would say things like "well surely by now you could go on vacation and have a few, it's not like you'll get like you used to..". I just have to pat him on the head and walk away. If only it were that simple
