Originally Posted by SierraRose

Hi all, I found this place while I was googling on how to tell if someone is lying to you. I also googled Al- anon, but not sure if I would be eligible to join.
I have been dating someone for about 11 months, and for the first 6 months I was stunned how much he could drink. nearly a bottle of spirits a night, and often straight from the bottle and with a cola chaser.
He would get happy, silly, annoying and aggressive and I finally told him the closer he got to us it was a no go zone to drink in my house.
He adores my family and they adore him and after a while I eventually broke it off with him for a week or 2, he promised to go sober and lasted about 3 weeks.
Now I am convinced he is drinking , he just learnt to HIDE it really well.
Just now he point blank refused to let me come over and visit, last time it was because he wanted to drink, and I had a babysitter and keen to chill with him for a little while, but I suspect I am interrupting his drinking time.
He looks for any excuse to drink in front of me getting a bottle of bourbon for Valentines day.. and I was looking for a snack and found a few bottles stashed away.
He kept not letting me in the bedroom, and when I did, I saw a stack of bottles and he said he got them to remind him to cease drinking.
I was calling ********, and for the last 3 months feel sick of wondering if he is lying, watching him lie to my face and no energy to even catch him out, eg pop around unexpected where he takes a good while to answer the door and reeking of mouthwash.
I want to end it but he begs and pleads and my kids are attached to him, and I adore his parents who told me I was either a saint or a stupid.... they agree he has a problem and told me he will lie to my face.
I am not looking forward to this weekend, because I feel bad about breaking it off, but do not want to enable him.. his parents and I are finally both on board about not giving him money (they didnt realise they were funding his drinking habit- they thought it was for bills) and because he is so broke, he sponges of me at mealtimes etc and quite frankly costing me money.
We do have good times, but he also notices I have lost the "lovey dovey feelings etc)
I don't want to break it in case I think he is lying when he hasn't, but I am certain he is drinking at his place now and also yesterday, he was quick to tell me he wasnt when I asked how much money he had left. My gut tells me he is.. Also the signs physical- his snoring and sleep apnoea are MUCH worse when he was drinking, the 2 weeks he was actually sober, he had NO Apnoea, and now it varies and usually on the nights he is not spending with me.
I don't want to be the mother, or enabler.. or the person who breaks it and he might do something silly.
Any tips?
thank you