It's a HUGE tactic of narcissists. I (unfortunately) have a friend who went through a similar divorce (our stories are eerily similar), and she barely lived off of credit cards for the two years after he left before the divorce was final. He never gave her and her son a cent. She scrapped it together and stood her ground... and he was ultimately ordered to pay off the bills... but I was sick at what he was allowed to do along the way.
Oh, and a year later he hasn't paid the credit cards that were solely in her name. Just to mess with her credit, we think. She's headed back to court soon and is sick over it.
Long way of saying... I KNOW IT SUCKS!!! However, I can tell you that everyone was willing to help her financially while she stood her ground, so that he couldn't win by dragging it out. So just know that people will likely want to do the same for you.
There are some good websites out there and some really good books on narcissism that might help you if you're a reader. It's easy to say, but please hold your ground when you feel like giving up.
I was floored through my own divorce (and after seeing hers) how ill-equipped most family lawyers are in term of the financial savvy needed in these situations, along with having an underlying belief that neither party would act blatantly unreasonably. (I think it's due to a lack of exposure to narcissism/sociopath behaviors.) I have a financial background and made equal money so fortunately could protect myself. Someday I hope to help more people in this situation because it's completely infuriating and unacceptable...
I'm sorry if I rant on this topic. I find it so appalling, and it hits way too close to home. I unfortunately know how you are feeling, and I know that at times your brain probably says...maybe I should let this go... and I think you'd ultimately regret it. PM me if you ever want to "chat".
You can do this!
I hope everything else is going well today.
Hugs and prayers that your daughter's birthday turns out well for both of you.
And keep taking care of you.