it seems so more clearer when you spell it out in a list.
can I just add 18 years ago I was married to an alcoholic at aged 22 Full blown, no hiding drunk belligerent bully, it was so bad I begged my parents to pull out the wedding (they pad for it and said no) and he almost struck me on my wedding day, within months we were separated when he was beating my 3 year old and threw me while I was pregnant. I suffered 18 months of verbal abuse and aggressive bullying behaviour, I barely noticed he was an alcoholic.. he was a bully sober or drunk.
it was so easy to leave, as there were no lies, just fear... he hasn't changed and I have very little to do with him, bit scared about seeing him in 6 months for our daughters 18th to be honest.. but I digress.
I like to think I have grown and matured now, so I am pretty embarrassed I am even here asking but it is so good to be validated and other input can help clarify my thoughts.
With his guy (SJ) it is more subtle, except when you listed it all codejob.
In all honesty, if he is drinking again, what is the likelihood it will get worse, does it take months. Do all alcoholics get worse and worse, or can it stay this uneasy truce of him simply not drinking around me and sneaking off once or twice a week, which is better than his daily bottle of booze or more?