WTBH, please keep the focus on what you can control. You can't control him. You can control you.
Move the party to your house.
- How did you send out invites? Go back through the list and contact people, letting them know you had to move the venue and hope to see them there. No explanations necessary.
- Contact your ex however, let him know you had to move the venue and the party will be at your house, sorry. No explanations necessary. If he goes nuts, follow the police protocol.
- If anyone asks, "Old Venue just wasn't going to work. We're looking forward to having you!" It's 100% true.
- Get the one big room and kitchen clean, shove everything else behind a shut door. Have the party. Put on music, pick a theme and go with it. Think of the parties of your youth -- a bunch of kids running around being kids. They don't have to have activities and constant activity management. Cake, ice cream, get a bunch of the BIG bouncy balls from the store and a bunch of jars of blowing bubbles. Hang a banner. Done. Why balls and bubbles? They're your party favors, for one. For two, kids can't help themselves -- best kid party I ever went to was balls and bubbles. Do it outside if you can.
- TWO HOURS TOPS. Anything more than that and you'll experience premature grays and/or baldness.
And/or.
Get the court to clarify.
Girl, talk to your damn lawyer. Should the RSO really be limited to not include public places FOR PARTIES YOU THE PROTECTED ARE HOSTING? The best practice is for the protected person and/or the limited person to leave a venue once they realize the other one is there. This current arrangement is totally unreasonable, and I'll bet he and his snake lawyer didn't specify WHY the public places order should be lifted. They're playing the system.
If it's true and it stands? Last minute switch back to your house for the venue. Sorry, Dad of the Year! Throw your own ******* party.
Don't talk yourself out of doing this. He does not have your life and well-being in his hands. If I may be crude, you have to grab your nuts on this one.