He never ever ever acts like a jerk with an audience. And I have spent years trying to get away from him and was so looking forward to a peaceful event for my child.
He is charming and engaging and will play the part of great dad and it will be really really hard for me to not be upset.
I'm honestly considering bowing out and telling him he can host the get together. It's not worth it to me to have to be around him and I will have a time later to celebrate with my kids.
I don't think I can handle being in the same space as him.