Taking my life back
With therapy and some good soul searching I have realized that as much as I want to be in control of drinking, I can not be, I am not wired that way.
As a child I was abused for a number of years and someone else had control. In my teenage years and as an adult this has led me to be a control freak over everything. When drinking got out of hand, I rejected the fact that I couldn't control it and I have continued to do just that.
Last night it dawned on me that I haven't been in control, I have let alcohol run the show. WOW, what a realization that was for me!!! Here I had been thinking I was controlling my life, but in reality I have been letting alcohol do that!!! Well, to that I say NO MORE!!! I am letting God take the reigns and will put my trust back into Him, all I can do is the next right thing and that starts with not drinking.
I know I have to work out what I will do to keep this momentum, but I just needed to get this out in the universe today.