Hi SR friends! Been a while since I last posted and I've been very busy! When I last posted I was feeling down about my upcoming birthday and nervous about my AH's hearing. Well my bday was pretty uneventful, so many things just didn't fall into place and I was disappointed but glad for it to be over. My AH got me a card. When his bday came a few days later I did the same for him, just a card. I was very happy about the results of his hearing although the home confinement has not started yet. On Monday an officer came to his parents house to inspect it and make sure it would be ok. It passed of course. On March 31 my AH goes back to court hopefully to get the ankle monitor and get started with the 60 days of home confinement.
I must say I cannot wait for this home confinement to start! I am extremely disappointed, frustrated and all together fed up with my AH. I am looking forward to having the house to myself, only doing dishes and laundry for one person will be so nice! I'm really not sure what is going on with my AH these days. I can't tell if he's using or not. What I do know is that I can't stand his current behavior. He doesn't help at all around the house, he sleeps a lot, he's missed work a few times and been late several times. He seems to not care about anyone or anything but himself. I know that his stepdad (who is also his boss) is also very upset with him but he doesn't do anything other than threaten to fire him. I worry that things will never improve and I also worry now that I may not even care if they do. I don't see any good qualities in him anymore. He's selfish and disrespectful and has no goals.
Ok moving on to some much better news! I started my new job a couple weeks ago and it has been great! My sister helped me get the job. She works there and is wanting to go to day shift and so they needed someone to fill her night shift position. I was so nervous for the week long orientation class. My sis met me the first day after her shift and walked me to the classroom. It was a little intimidating and there was a ton of info thrown at me that week but I was really excited to start training. I've been on day shift for a couple weeks and I will start training on nights next week. It has been so good to be around people, to work, to learn, to feel productive and needed and even appreciated. It's also been really good to see my sister more regularly. It has helped so much having her there to support me. Everyone that meets me knows who I am already because my sis and I look so much alike. Everyone likes her there and that has helped me ease into the job. On my first day my sister decorated a locker for me and gave me a cheat sheet of helpful info. Oh yeah and it's been REALLY nice to get a paycheck! I've also got health insurance now too!
I struggled with the decision of whether or not to get health insurance for my AH. I knew that it would be helpful with his weekly counseling appointments but since he is a smoker the rate for us is a good bit higher. The cost of health insurance comes directly out of my paycheck before I get it and I hate that by doing this I am literally paying for his habit which I hate! I ended up getting insurance for him and decided that I could drop him at any time if I changed my mind.
I've been trying very hard to focus on me and all the good things that I have going for me lately! Worrying about my AH does me no good and it is pointless. I arranged my work schedule last week so that I could make it to my AH's counseling appointment. He ended up oversleeping for work (again) and was awakened by his stepdad at our front door wanting to know why he wasn't at work. After pissing off his stepdad he decided to blow off his counseling appt. he didn't even call her to cancel it! I was so mad and so was his counselor.
That did it for me. I decided no more. No more worrying about him getting up on time, no more reminding him to take his medicine or about his appointments. I have a million things a day that I have to worry about and I manage. I'm focussing on ME, my new job and my future. It feels good to have goals and to let go of things that are out of my control!
