Originally Posted by
FireSprite 
I think the bigger question is: how effective is it in the long term if the person of interest has no real desire to address the REAL problems & embrace what therapy has to offer?
I think if he really meant it, he would find assistance in either AA or therapy or a combo of both. Historically he's all for therapy while he's in crisis & then proceeds to find fault with the therapist, etc. as he returns to his "normal" feeling of control, then refuses to return to therapy at all, right? (or insists that THIS therapist is bad & he needs someone else?)
But until he humbles himself & admits the scope of his problems he's just chasing his tail, isn't he?
Yes, this! I don't truly know his heart nor is that my business really. It really will come down to how hard is he willing to work.
You know, the other question I have is: am I willing to stick around and see if it does work? I know that sounds silly but I think a lot about how much water there is under the bridge and what he was like even before the drinking started. I've changed and I just don't see eye to eye with him about much of anything. Not sure if we can even start a new relationship even if he does find recovery.
And, as you said, he's chased his tail before. I don't know what actually happened, I didn't ask. I just know that he thinks he needs help. I'm truly staying out of it. I was just asking for people's experience with using therapy alone to find recovery.
For me and my recovery, I've been in individual counseling now for 2 years, been going to Al Anon for just over 2 years, and am back to attending church on a regular basis. My weeks consist of talking to my sponsor regularly, calling a few Al Anon friends during the week to check myself and my own motives as I go through my week, and a weekly Bible study group where I have found great support, as well. But, I am a woman and I know that men don't feel the need to reach out at such a deep level. Maybe therapy is all that is needed? Either way, I am so glad I found Al Anon and have such a great sponsor, too! I am going to get a foot massage later today.....anybody else? LOL!