Originally Posted by
honeypig 
This ^^^. What purpose does it serve for you to keep tabs on him, text him, accept his texts, check FB for news about him? This is absolutely not staying on your side of the street. You are only making yourself feel worse.
I understand you feel bad, you're lonesome, you're in a tough place right now, and I'm sorry for that, but it's temporary pain for long-term gain. It seems to me like maybe you're keeping the lines of communication open b/c A) you hope he will miraculously turn into the person you want him to be (not too likely, sadly) and return to you, admitting his mistakes, or B) he will crash and burn, thereby justifying your leaving him. Again, I understand both of these things, hoping for a miracle as well as wanting confirmation that leaving was the right thing to do. However, both of those take the focus off of YOU, where it should be.
Let him go, Melly; turn him over to his HP--none of us can know what the future holds for our A's, any more than we can know what it holds for ourselves. Keep your energies and focus on your own new life. One day at a time. You'll get there.
Wishing you strength and clarity.
Just to clarify on the FB front - I'm not very "savvy" when it comes to that, so I hadn't realized I could "Unfollow" someone's feed. I did not go looking for information - and I regularly skip over feeds when I see his name in the "...with" portion. I had just opened my FB yesterday morning and the first thing that I saw was "XABF is now friends with Frenemy."
The only reason at this moment for ANY contact is that I still have things at his place - which I have arranged to come and get tonight. After that there is NO reason for us to continue to have any interaction as far as I'm concerned.
I admit that I hadn't removed the rest of my things because I've been A) lazy - I've moved SO much up the stairs to my new place that I just wasn't looking forward to driving all the way over to his place, loading up the car, driving home and then taking everything up the stairs again, and B) apprehensive about seeing him until I was in an emotionally better place and it didn't hurt so much. The last thing I wanted was a weak moment in front of him....
Since today is the 4 year anniversary of our first "date" - which he was an hour later for - I think it's the PERFECT day to release it all!
