So I wondered why I was scoring high on ACoA quiz. My parents aren't A's, neither parent fit criteria of any personality disorder, but there is a definite recurring pattern of relationship issues I internalized which set me up to seek a wounded mate. Thanks for this revelation of emotional abuse Keepingthefaith! This will really help my Step 4 journaling!
The sad thing is I do some of this to my qualifier bc passive aggressive teasing/demeaning was a useful outlet for my resentment about his drinking. It made me sick to realize I did this last year. I remembered my own confusion when cutting remarks would fly out of my mouth towards him. I'd think, "where did this outburst come from? I am not mad at him!" I thought it was a hormonal imbalance! Sadly I realize I have been doing it a little bit again bc of his emotional and intimacy walls are driving me back to this semi-acceptable release of sarcasm. It makes me nauseous to see how we just instinctively know how to trigger each other.
There is a prayer about parenting I pray at church as I know my DS is hypersensitive too so I've been trying to dial back my wry humor and not using it to point out issues with DS as although I might think I am being hilarious he sees it accurately as masked displeasure.
Much to ponder here! Best of luck with your flashlight Keepingthefaith!