Hi just wanted to say you are not alone. I was abused repeatedly as a child as well. It has been bubbling away now for a good few years now, since my own children were born really. I have so much work to do on myself and therapy for this trauma is one key part of my recovery. I have only 10 weeks sober so far but I will get to it.
I will just share one horrible memory from when I was about 7 that I have never been able to forget. I was in bed asleep and I was having a nightmare. Basically there was this gremlin like creature behind the curtains and he was flashing. I don't think he was naked or anything but the curtains would open, I would see him and the curtains would close. I remember screaming, screaming and my parents came. I don't know if they came in reality or if I dreamed that part too. They checked behind the curtain and told me there was nothing there. Off they went and this creature started flashing me again. I remember screaming and being rooted to the bed in fear. My parents came again and checked again. I could still see him when they weren't looking. They didn't believe me.
32 years later I can still picture the room, where I was, how I felt. This is the first time I have told anyone this ever in my life. Am crying now.