Hey B&B, it's nice to see you around, though I wish none of us were here.
I'm not much use to other posters here, but this thread means something to me, so I thought I'd share.
The premise of "reclaiming my identity", actually seems almost foolish to me, because it sounds like I need to find a way back to the person I was before I met my qualifier. While that person had a lot going for him, it seems pretty obvious his decision making skills weren't quite up to snuff as it were, or none of this would have happened in the first place.
So rather than "taking back what I've lost", my focus has been more on "becoming the type of person this doesn't happen to". I've done a pretty thorough inventory of my life, seeking to identify the patterns/clues/behaviors that made it possible for me to be well-exploited, even though I'm pretty strong in the emotional-detachment department.
It took a lot of historical dredging for me to find the aspects of my identity that need modifying, so I'm not going to write it all out here, but the moral of the story, is that I was the perfect victim, because of a multitude of underlying insecurities.
So the last thing I ever want to do is "reclaim" that old identity. It had it's shot, and got me right where I didn't want to be. Now I'm rebuilding, my own design, and rather than trying to "get better", I'm trying to "be better".
Best of luck to you.