First post in this part of the forum...and this has been on my mind.
Isolating is a real theme for me and a real enemy especially if it's difficult to spot.
What I relate to from other posts is that I learnt Emotional Detachment early in life and godamn it I thought it was healthy for a long time. Born out of confusion, I decided at some stage that saying "hey, it doesn't matter" was a healthy, and perhaps the only sane response to the things that were going on around me. Allowing myself to react emotionally was difficult, so I learned not to react. In my pre-teen years I discovered buddhism and meditation and that started another unhealthy development...non-attachment was the goal, the answer - and it made so much sense! When things bothered me I would sit and meditate until I felt good and unaffected, and I felt pretty "spiritual" in the process
Take that one step further and I discovered that being around others was often difficult, and the simplest answer was to not be around them. I became self-sufficient. I told myself I didn't need you to make me feel better or worse. I detached physically and emotionally and that worked for me until it stopped working.
So today, when things are not great, often when I feel troubled, I isolate. I isolate by physically taking myself away until I can 'work things out' or until I have the energy to cope with it all. Or I isolate in the company of others by withdrawing...if you ask me how I am, I'll say "I'm fine" and hope you don't press me any further. I get real quiet. I find it hard to be involved and I find myself judging others or judging me - creating differences in my mind that sure as eggs mean the only answer is to sit quietly on my own and work things out for myself.
Like I heard someone say once, if I'm disturbed I will sit with it for days and then come tell you I was disturbed but im ok now
Isolation for me has nothing to do with the physical act of being alone. I can be isolated in a crowded room or feel connected with no one around. As you say, I think it has more to do with my iNTENTIONS and mental/emotional state.
I like your definitions Mako, thanks for posting.
P