Praying-
What you are writing, mirrors my experience.
The denial was hard, because I stayed in it, but it was at time of numbness and really not a lot of clarity.
It was actually for the time after coming out of denial (the second year for me) that was emotionally more challenging.
I found though that I was working on a big project, me. I was tightening a screw here, fixing another leaky pipe/situation there. I was still feeling though not just the present, but having to filter through all the past stuff that had gotten me there. I was not just needing tools, but needing to clean out all the junk that had been stored up for years.
A little further out I turned a corner, and everything started to come together. The big picture started to ge more congruent, and I started to be able to deal with present time life without triggering from the past. I agree that addiction is a family disease, but I came to learn it is a "whole" life disease and the tentacles of addiction impacted me way more than I could understand in the early stages. I did not just have to make changes to myself, but how I do relationships, how I engage at work, with my family etc.
I just want you to know as hard as it is how normal where you are sounds to me.