He came back home on Friday night ... sent two random texts to me in the afternoon and then showed up instead of going to his AA meeting. We did talk ... he slept in his car the night he wasn't home. Didn't go to his sponsor's house as he was having an AA gathering and my hubby didn't feel up to seeing anyone.
So I agreed for him to stay here as we have the room but I told him I am done. I just don't have the feelings I should have to be married ... they died a long time ago ... it took all of this happening to open my eyes up to how bad things really were.
Anyways ... he's moping around, not going to his AA meetings - says he doesn't feel well. He didn't go this morning (his home meeting) so I just told him he needs to go tonight. So he spouts off about how I (all ME) dropped this bomb on him and he doesn't think he can handle going to meetings right now. I told him he needs the meetings more than ever right now ... then he says he has appointments to go look at apartments tomorrow ... where that money would come from I am not really sure. All along he has said he will stay here as he doesn't want to ruin our oldest's birthday which is this coming Friday ... not sure what is going through his head.
I am frustrated and overwhelmed really ... so many things to think about and there will be so many things to settle in the next while. I find myself becoming more and more angry with him thinking about so many things over the years that happened and how I have always made excuses for him so many times ... I just feel so very, very done. Sigh ... will this get worse before it gets better? I don't know how much more of this I can take!