Thank you all for your support. I wish the "pros" here in this insane state had a shred as much sense as you all
I actually grabbed my phone and hit record and told her I was doing so and asked to her to clarify what she meant and she repeated herself ON TAPE!!!
I called the state office of the ombudsman and spoke to the guy who takes complaints.
Then talked to the person covering for her supervisor who tried to tell me she must have been trying to father more info and I mistook her intent. I reminded her that I had been beaten up and it was NEVER ok to ask if I was the cause of the abuse. She told me she would talk w the stupid dingbat who came to my house.
And obviously DCYF blows nothing about child abuse since my older daughter accordion to her therapist is "terrified" of her dad but bc she's perfect child everywhere everyone says I'm worrying too much and she is fine.
She's NOT fine at all and apparently needs to be killing animals or burning down houses for anyone to care that her having contact w her father is bad for her.