I think she does pity them to a certain extent, and does have the opinion, outwardly, that if they are going to see each other then there's nothing she can do.about that. But, she doesnt want them rubbing her nose in it. Sadly, my MIL never listens & completely disregards anyone elses wishes. She always has done. Just after she promised not to have anything more to do with SDs mum, she 'accidentally' called SDs phone and said "hello x (SDs mums name)". SD said "this isn't x" & hung up, and was fuming. My husband rang his mother & told her she had upset SD, and she got really angry &.said she was thinking of dropping SD in favour of her mother!! I kid you not! Needless to say their relationship has been strained since, but when SD went to visit my MIL with my husband a couple of weeks ago, MIL got out a load of photos of x to.show SD!!! It's all very strange ....