Thank you. We do understand that we cannot change their behaviour - the Serenity Prayer, along with the 3 C's, are prevalent in our household. My SD has understood for a long time that her mother's behaviour is not controllable, but she does feel hurt and betrayed by her grandmother, which is understandable. Sadly her grandmother is easily manipulated by my husband's ex (she wasn't his wife by the way, and they were only together for 3 years), which has it's disadvantages where we're concerned because, for example, my MIL will call up and insist that SD's mother is dry (when she isn't, but my MIL believes every word that comes out of her mouth) and will nag SD to see her mother and will tell her stuff like it's her 'duty' to see her mother etc. My husband will tell his mother not to interfere, and not to even mention SD's mum, but she never listens and will talk about her incessantly to SD anyway. This then results in SD being very angry, with her grandmother and her mother. It is toxic, I see that, so does SD and my husband does too to a certain extent. However, SD has said she doesn't want to see her grandmother now she's betrayed her and broken a promise, and my husband is fully supporting her in that.
You just expect your family, who aren't alcoholics, to support you don't you!!