Old 03-05-2014, 02:51 PM
  # 14 (permalink)  
littlefish
Member
 
littlefish's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2007
Location: Sweden
Posts: 1,649
I drank while I was in AA for almost 2 years. There were times when I thought it was pointless to keep on going.

In answer to the question, yes, definitely, I had a MAJOR psychic shift. But it did not happen like a flash of light or in a dramatic moment. My shift was slow and gradual. It built up as I made the personal development recommended by the step work in AA and by independent spiritual study outside of the AA program.

I guess if I could describe a pivotal moment it would be this one:
one day, like thousands of other days, I wanted to have a drink as a cure for panic and anxiety. But I finally believed that I could live with that crappy 20 minutes
of panic and anxiety, I could actually live with it. So many people had mentioned just that: the feelings will pass.
I could survive, I didn't have to run away from the feelings. And I experienced that the feelings did pass, after about 20 minutes. And I didn't die from my feelings.

The next time I had that feeling for a drink again, I reminded myself that I could make it, I did it once, I could do it again. It's been one day at a time, and the days added up to weeks, then months, then years.
littlefish is offline