Originally Posted by
Harpoon 
I lied to myself .
I feel so bad after drinking, anxious, intrusive thoughts, blackouts, chronic insomnia, crippling depression, and Irritable bowel syndrome, but that's the least of my worries.
Why can't I stop? I just want my life back, to be panic free, to laugh, to sleep. I don't feel addicted. I drink less that ppl I go out drinking with.
What does this sound like? Am I dependent on alcohol, or an alcoholic? Why cant I say enough is enough?
It sounds to me that it's difficult to accept the fact that you can't drink in safety. Forget the labels and get honest about your drinking. Hard line, I know but a lot of times that gets our attention before we end up shortly in the grave. Alcohol has different effects on each of us so comparing is a waste of time and often wishful thinking.
In the beginning this made sense to me: "If we don't pick up the first drink we don't have to get sober again."
Hang on and keep coming, it will get better.
BE WELL