well... for me it was simply finally giving up. Reaching a point where to continue the madness of trying over and over again to allow drinking to be part of my life was just too damn exhausting. Trying and failing, trying and failing, finally getting to the point that I had to admit to myself - finally - it wasn't going to work.
Having the benefit of several attempts where there were at least good stretches of sobriety. Seeing the differences sobriety brought. Beginning to embrace the good things about it. It was a psychic shift I think - but I'm a stubborn, slow-learning guy I suppose. So, it took a while. It was a protracted psychic shift of incremental changes.
It was watching the improvements in my health from sobriety.... getting in the best shape of my life... then ruining it and wanting it back. It was being miserable time and time again. It was hiding my problem from those I cared about, but then having it revealed and having to take ownership of that. It was rejecting AA and then realizing what a powerful tool it was. It was giving up the illusion of control. It was becoming more and more willing to ask for help from whatever power that thing I call "Spirit" or "The Universe" or sometimes "God" may actually be. It was being grateful. It was being open to guidance and signs. It was valuing health and exercise and life over being hazed out, phazed out, drunk and / or hungover too many times to count.
It was all of it, and finally reaching my point of readiness and acceptance.
it was coming to truly value sobriety and my life over booze and the darkness it brings.