Guilt has always been one of my bigger issues. My mother would beg to hang out at a bar with her because she missed me dearly. She would tell my friends to call me (bless them they didn't) she would tell everyone how dearly she missed me (some would tell me how horrible I was for ignoring her). So I once told my mother I would not hang out with her until she could come up with something to do that didn't include alcohol. I didn't see her for four months! After years of looking at it she's no longer a burden for me she barely even angers me, mostly I feel sad for her that she could not pull her mind out of the booze long enough to think of doing lunch with her daughter. Basically, I made my rules, I stuck to them and I gave her an alternative, it helped me to remove the guilt I was feeling from myself because I gave her an opportunity, all she had to do was think of me instead of the booze long enough to get it. Sticking to my guns also gave me a source of pride and control which I desperately needed. It wasn't always easy but it was worth it, for me, in the long run. I wish you strength, and the same feelings of pride every time you stick to the rules you have given. Congrats, every time you haven't bought her beer you have been a champion.