Thread: Forgive
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Old 03-03-2014, 03:20 PM
  # 14 (permalink)  
Stung
Member
 
Join Date: Dec 2013
Location: Silicon Valley, CA
Posts: 2,066
I can relate to how you're feeling. I have two very young children and for awhile I thought that keeping our family together would be better, but ultimately I separated from my husband because I recognized that removing him from our day to day lives was the very BEST thing I could actually do for our children.

Prior to separating, our children were frequently around a drunk adult, seeing mom and dad fight frequently, witnessing erratic behavior from both of us - his abusive behavior and my walking on eggshells and having anxiety about whether he would come home drunk or sober.

Now they have a stable mom all the time and now when they see dad (only on weekends, but at least it's very predictable now, which is GREAT for our kids) he is stable too. Separating has definitely been more difficult for my husband and I than for our two children, but the separation is giving he and I the space that is so very necessary for us to work on bettering ourselves to ultimately be better parents and MAYBE better spouses to each other again some day.

Sending you hugs. I don't think there is anything wrong with having hope as long as your main concentration is working on better yourself NOW. Initially I had oodles and oodles of hope (actually all I had was hope and a non-stop pity party for myself), now that *I* am becoming healthier I find myself hoping less and focusing on MY abilities and opportunities more than *OUR* possibilities as a couple. It's a much better place to be.
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