Originally Posted by
wifeofanACoA 
I'd rather die married to him than feel like I'm killing my children by leaving. Not a very happy post - sorry.
wow. Very concise and perfect description for the condition. Super job on expressing that.
Dunno about happy or otherwise, but certainly no need for apologies.
But there is some room for gratitude, so let me say Thank You.
At any rate. FULLY understand what you are saying.
Hit me this Saturday at the Alanoon meeting near our house. I thought everything was going fine and dandy, and it came around my turn to read and talk and first paragraph -- in was something about "Felt it was our responsibility to hold the family together . . . " and I just started gasping for breath. Stopped myself before I started the crying stuff, but just had to pass the book on for someone else to finish.
Just looking for some coping and hope from anyone saying that things can somehow be better. :|
Dunno about that, either. Not there . . . (yet?)
Looking back, I think we
were doing a lot worse, so that must mean this now is better? Right? Really, is that reasonable?
I guess if your's/he is starting to do Therapy, etc., maybe? Dunno.
What I wanted sometime back was this big fantasy all-better happy ending thing like I hear some of the Olde-Tymer Alananny Angels talk about. Where he/she is doing their AA stuff, and me/us doing the Alanon stuff, and life is just this Happy Bubble or whatever.
Dunno. I can see that me working my side makes me better and that makes me a better dad, so that is all good. Guess I will not worry too much about the rest.