Hey everyone,
I just wanted to post something here and get my intention out of my head so that it's more real.
I had a phone call from my mum yesterday and then went out to meet a friend immediately after and had a few glasses of wine. I justified the first one in my head (always a bad idea) and then by the time I finished the first, my inhibitions had been worn down. I actually got drunk which is unusual for me as I used to drink more and become woozy but I think because I went for sometime sober, it was a bit of a shock to my body.
My partner doesn't drink so when I got home he knew I was drunk and he's so lovely he really looked after me. I had a bath and threw up then fell asleep. I was slurring my words and talking absolute rubbish.
I know what's done is done and today is a new day so I can only move forward, but I can't seem to get any peace of mind.
I've been reading a lot over the past couple of weeks and I hear about people trying to keep their lives simple. It makes a lot of sense to me but it seems like it's unobtainable for me. I have things in place to help myself but as soon as I'm in a situation with other people or more specifically, my family, I just revert back to how I've always been which is highly strung, neurotic and my mood just hits the floor. I can't seem to escape it.
Sorry for blabbing on as always and again, thank you to the members of this forum. I am so grateful for everyone's contributions as I've learned and shared so much over the past couple of weeks.