Thank you for being so honest! I, too, am going through a similar situation. My AH, hopefully soon XAH, is not happy with the boundaries I've set---I will not allow him at the house either---and so I am the bad person. I, too, am trying to protect my children and myself. I am afraid of him, his threats, his anger, his blackouts. He continues to try every tactic to get over here to the house and I am trying to stay firm. They can be so nice when they want something, but YES I have to remember how he has behaved in the past and stay diligent. Your post is helping. So sorry that so many of us have to go through those events. Thank goodness you are ok. A little battered but the soul is staying strong. Keep it up and look forward.