Yes, Bluebird, you've written a very realistic post. You need to, you have the right to take care of yourself and your children.
I'd say go to a lawyer ASAP. Married to him, your finances are entwined with his and his actions, no matter how irresponsible, can affect your debt. You need to take immediate legal steps to protect your own financial integrity so that you can care for your children.
Good luck, we're here for you.
ShootingStar1