Bluebird---I know that everyone in your "circle" will likely want to weigh in on how you should or should not conduct your affairs. Everyone that feels that they have a dog in the fight. Your MIl and his sponsor have HIM as their dog in the fight. Their concern is not you or your children.
Based on this info......I say that you will do better if you take a F----You attitude toward them (mentally, of course...LOL).
This is hard-ball time and your survival depends on your sense of self preservation fro this point, on out.
Trust and depend only on those who have YOUR welfare at heart!! Like your lawyer, Us
on SR, alanon members, your counselor, and those friends who may be willing to help you.
You would be right to expect that he live up to his parental and moral obligations---but, the truth and the reality for you right now is that you will probably get next to nothing--at least, in the short term. He is broken down due to the disease and those in early recovery can barely keep it together for themselves. Is this fair?? Hell No!.
But there is nothing that is fair about this disease. It destroys individuals and families if we let it.
I understand that this is not what you would like to hear--but, sadly, it is the truth.
You will survive through this. Many others have walked in your shoes.
dandylion
p.s. Don't worry about h indering his recovery. You have no control over it. It is completely up to him. You have your hands full with the survival of your self and the kids. You can tell everyone that dandylion said so!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! LOL.