Originally Posted by
Bluebird74 
When I spoke with his mother she berated me and made sure I knew he couldn't be "pressured" with any thoughts of taking care of our children, supporting his family, his marriage, or his job right now. His sponsor also told me he can't be worried about working right now.
Or what, Little Princess's head will magically explode?
I think we may have the same MIL and same other side sponsor.
BUT -- NONE of that is our problem, right?
I don't know what to do right now. He has always been functioning prior to this point. I no longer want to be married to him and I am having a hard time seeing the difference between detachment and abandoning him. I am left with the responsibility of figuring out how to support our family,
Understand all that part . . . But THIS PART????
pay for his legal & medical expenses, etc.
WHY? Let him go to jail and go bankrupt on the medical bills.
He has continued this behavior for years, and now he gets a pass to leave me with all the responsibility? And I am not "supportive" if I expect him to be concerned about how to keep a roof over our children's head? He has made the statement that money is evil, it is bad, he doesn't care about it, our kids will always be taken care of, he is going to get well and get his family back.
What is reasonable for me to say to him, or expect from him with regards to his financial responsibility? I don't want to hinder his recovery, but I am terrified about how I am going to do this with no help from him, not to mention future expenses he incurs.
You will likely do much better, or just even ok, IF you can get rid of the loss and the dead weight.
Here is how I keep it straight --
First, I can only have (1) #1 Priority -- For me, that is the three kids. NONE of the kids are named Mrs. Hammer, so I know she is NOT a #1 Priority.
Second, to keep the #1 Priority ok, I have to take care of ME. Mrs. Hammer is not named ME, so I know she is not a #2 Priority.
Next, to keep all those in good shape, and living indoors, eating, in school, etc. . . . none of that is about Mrs. Hammer, either.
So she is not really on my watch, nor "take care of" list.
Why is your A on your priority list?