Originally Posted by
catlovermi 
A year ago, your posts reflected a high-stress state of disintegration within you. Your thought process was paralyzed, your self-esteem crippled, your outlook bleak. You held on, through terribly harsh and unfair circumstances.
You began get your sea legs. First, it was glimpses that your perspective wasn't insane or warped, that you might be right about things. Then, mother bear fumes arose, your kids were going to get into safer circumstances, you were going to see to that. And then, you began to make changes, and hold your ground, and wait it out.
A year later, I see focus, a centered-ness in your posts, a distinct clarity blooming. I feel more strength each time you post an update, no matter the crazy circumstances.
And now I feel a seismic shift. HE is disintegrating. HIS reality is finally crumbling. Reality is closing in on him, finally coming out to the light of day. The charade is just about over.
Good. For. You.
For hanging in there, until this day finally dawned.
Good. For. You.
From a reader's perspective, this last post of yours feels like this may be a watershed in your narrative, a turning of the tide.
Sending much encouragement!
CLMI
I can totally see this in myself and remember it in my older posts too... A good friend has reached out and asked over the past day how I am hanging in (bc I told her what happened) and you know what? Im sore, I have a black eye and physically look pretty rough, but emotionally I am ok... He isn't going to hurt me emotionally or physically anymore and Im not going to waste energy being upset bc of his nonsense...
And I am not blaming myself for his attack BUT I should have known better than to let him on the porch or even in the house in the last month bc as Stella said, the best indicator of future behavior is past behavior...
People told me that his true colors would shine through eventually and this fall while my life fell apart I didn't believe that at all... But it looks like it's true after all.
I thought when this day came I would be happy or feel vindicated but I feel very little toward or about him. He's going to have to live with the consequences of his choices- whatever they may be- and whatever they are aren't my concern.
I care about my kids and how they were and are impacted and about myself--and right now I feel like the best gift I am giving my kids, despite being in dire straits financially and having nothing materialistic to offer them, is the gift of showing them that crappy treatment isn't tolerated and that even when crappy stuff happens you get up and go on and don't let the crap behavior of others define you...
I guess that's what is different-- his behavior and his choices aren't my problem anymore-- yesterday for a short time they were but I handed that responsibility over to the court/police and Im grateful for the break from any interaction with him whatsoever so that the girls and I can just have peace....