Wow I had a bunch of lightbulb moments and ignored half of them. Among all the moments of chair throwing, glass throwing, stool smashing, screaming, lying, insults, slapping, yelling, dog hitting (yep, nothing as major as Brindie, but bad enough), blaming, puking, ranting, manic cleaning, stumbling, slurring, etc, what stands out the most? After raging about how he hated it here, screaming F*@#CKKKKK, and then crying, stumbling around, barely able to get out his words he was so drunk. He went crazy throwing things, saying he needed to get away from me, he loved me, he hated me, etc. That he was sorry he did this, that it was my fault, that I had messed him up, that I was his everything, ripping my shirt off into pieces when it was 15 degrees F outside, then getting a jacket out of his truck for himself and leaving me to walk through the house past my kids without a shirt, sitting catatonically and refusing to react, telling me I am not a painter (meaning I had not done them) when I painted a boatload of paintings right in front of him, etc ...that whole mess he went through that last super bad night, yeah it hit home, it was enough, it was clear he had to leave, but nowhere near like the lightbulb that came on the NEXT day when he leaned over in the kitchen and kissed me....and was confused why I stood there shellshocked and didn't really kiss him back, when he acted as if nothing had happened, as if I should be behaving like normal, giving him affection after being told he couldn't stand me. That was the moment I knew I was going to make him leave, but wasn't sure how to get him out. The actual moment I knew he had to go NOW was when he verbally attacked my son...because I knew what would happen next and I could not let that man lay a hand on my kid. Period.