Seriously you are telling my story. My exabf was clean finally for a long period of time and then he relapsed again and of course I stayed. Funny you say you stayed for Mickey, well him and I actually went to Florida and went to orlando, and the whole week we were traveling in Florida he stayed sober and we had a great time. It was like we were a normal couple for once in a long time. Then we got home and two days later he relapsed and I was devastated. Well he went back to rehab for the 8th time in 6 years we've been dating and he has been clean since there. He will be clean 10 months on March 7.
We were finally happy. He moved down to Florida because the rehab said he would have a better chance at staying clean down there which he has. I went down to visit him 3 times, and he came back up here twice and every time we were together we were both finally happy and loving each other. I was working a program in al anon and he was working a program in AA.
And then out of no where two weeks after he last visited me and we were talking about me moving down there and can't wait to finally be together again, he breaks up with me. He said he needs to work on his recovery and that he apparently isn't in love with me anymore, when the day before he was saying he was. So yeah...happily ever afters don't come sometimes.
But I've been grieving our break up no for 29 days since it happened. It has been so hard and painful and just heart breaking really. I still very much love him and I wish he still loved me but i can't change how he feels or what he's even thinking, because I really don't think he doesn't love me anymore, i think he just needs to focus on himself.
I'm happy to hear you're going to al anon, it is great and I love it. I have made some great friends and work my program to the best of my ability. You sound like you're young if you're in college, and believe me I am too. I'll be 26 actually in two days and I feel like even though i'm crushed at what we lost, I'm thankful that i'm young, beautiful, and smart and still have a future a head of me and time to find someone new to love me and care about me too.
I hope you find the strength to take care of yourself and just love yourself.