Amends letter
EXABF is in jail, for multiple DUI's and probation violations. I now have not spoken to him in over a year, when he was harassing me and I got a restraining order against him.
From what I gathered from friends, he spiraled downward from even there and landed in jail after a fight with his current (?) girlfriend.
His mother called me this weekend. She explained that he has been doing well in his AA program and has written an apology letter to me. She wanted to know if it would be ok if he sent it and what address it should go to.
I gave her my PO box. To my knowledge he does not know my actual address and I would like for it to remain that way.
I have been a little bit nervous ever since I said I would accept it. During the years we were together, he would not even talk about AA. He left rehab to start drinking again on the bus ride home. My life was in pieces because of his problems. I left when I ran out of options.
So many emotions, and the first thought is that this will be full of manipulation and not anything that he actually would mean. I have heard it before. Then I feel bad for being so jaded and hope that when he isn't locked up anymore he can maintain his sobriety and put his life back together. And then I think it would be healing for me to get a real apology.
Part of me wonders if I should even open it, and if I do, I dare not write back for fear that the communication would continue.
I have worked hard to put my life back together, without him. Why am I so anxious about this?