Family against me?
My qualifier is my DF - I grew up in an alcoholic home.
Sometimes my struggle gets really hard. I'm estranged from two brothers and their wives (my choice due to their rejection of my wife and marriage). I've adamantly stated to my DM, "I love them and think they're wonderful and wish them the best, they are welcome in my life - however, their judgment is not - the judgment that I should divorce my wife"
My DM tried to derail me - stated that I've blown things out of proportion, that I focused on the negative, that I'm being selfish, that I'm the one that's leaving "the family" behind, that they don't feel that way. I pointed out that one of my brothers explicitly stated, "I don't love you - you're not my family" and "I think it's in your best interest to divorce your wife because I've known you for 35 years" - this is despite the fact that I've stated clearly that I love my wife and am happy. She tried to derail that by saying that he was just angry or I "coaxed" it out of him. Or...that it's MY problem because I'm dwelling on the past or "hearing what you want to hear".
How do you deal with this craziness? It's like my feelings don't even exist - It's like my wife's feelings don't even exist.
I also pointed out that I've offered for them to come to counseling with DW and I and they've refused. DM retorted with "that's because you're trying to win" - win what? Counseling is specifically set-up to have people meet AS EQUALS.
It's like I live in this world of recovery (sober for 17 months) and it's absolutely wonderful. I look up at strangers - I speak my mind but don't step on others boundaries. I've grown 100 feet taller emotionally and spiritually. But in DM's world or my estranged brothers' world, life is completely different. I have to actually say to someone that it's not OK to call my wife names - to call me names - to judge our lives? seriously?
My counselor compared it to 2 people speaking two different languages due to being from 2 different planets. He hit the nail on the head. I simply don't know how to communicate with several of my family members. When I try to bring love, support, and acceptance, I am given hatred, judgment, and rejection.
I don't know what to do. Looking here for some support.