I understand. I have known my A for 25 years. We also have history together.
My question in that case is, why would you tolerate the abuse that you described - "feeling his wrath" in your words - regardless of how long you've known him? Friends don't treat each other poorly. Do you want to be on the receiving end of another "knock down drag out fight"? Do you need this in your life?
I had to ask these questions in my own situation, too. And I realized that because of a painful childhood, I was probably doomed to repeat the scenario of chasing after unavailable or unsuitable partners until I worked out some things for myself.
I hope you are willing to put all the love and work into yourself that you seem willing to expend on him. Because you are right, a relationship with an alcoholic, recovering or not, is no picnic and often takes more than it gives.