Jesus, Davey. You're some tough hombre. One winter while in college back in the '70's after a night at the student pub I slipped on some ice, came down on my right knee at a weird angle on an ice-chunk cracking my femur and really messing up my knee. Off to emergency by taxi, in pain. My knee filled with blood and they drained it by sticking an enormous syringe in several places until drained. Man, that was some hurt. Plaster cast around my leg for six weeks. I was already on crutches when I slipped. How surreal that now that same leg is itself gone, lol.
I've lived / am living with chronic pain and I know what it can do to a man over time. Even when its managed there are still consequences and layers of responsibilities all entwined in the experience. It can become a real nightmare, and a special kind of toughness is required to meet the daily challenges , dismiss those nightmares, and somehow have a better day in spite of the pain and mental angst. The toughness changes a man nonetheless and a balance is needed else the whole thing can slide sideways creating more troubles. Your already aware of all this, and I have only respect for your experiences. Sobriety will and can always be that restorative balance. Sobriety was and still remains so for me.
You're a good man, Davey.