by rescue I mean if I am planning something with my kids like a party my husband has his sister or mom (mostly sister now) come help me and next thing I know is things are planned that I did not know about or slit bigger than I wanted but when asked they said A knew. Or they step in and do things that as a mom I should be doing. So when I have an objection I am the one being unreasonable. The counselor we use to go to even agreed that they over step their boundaries. A is ok with them doing that and had them convinced something is wrong with me not him.
the only way they can know of your plans is if you TELL them...or him. time to quit letting A run the show. quit giving him info he can use against you in any way. it's time to DETACH...unhook, unplug....do your thing, make your own plans and not share that with them...him, her. them. and if they do try to horn in, say I got this and I don't need your help or assistance, thanks. unless you stand up for yourself they will continue to walk all over you.