Yeah. I've gone through phases -- of drinking because I am not the alcoholic, dammit, to refusing to have alcohol in the house to where I am today where I drink extremely rarely, and never more than one glass. It's been a bit of a road getting to that point, but I'm glad I'm there.
I felt the same way you did -- like somehow, AXH still had power over me when I had severe anxiety over whether to sip a glass of wine on occasion or not.
I should also said that the kids' attitudes helped me. I don't drink at home anymore -- only on occasion when I go out to dinner or on the rare business trip. The last time I opened a bottle of wine at home, the kids expressed that they hated the sound of a cork being pulled out of a bottle, and hated the smell of wine. So that made it pretty clear that while I may not have issues with it anymore, they still do.